The truth about Spiritual Awakenings and “Ego Death”

If you’re like me, when you started awakening spiritually, you probably thought “ego death” was a necessary stage. But what if that’s not the case at all? What if the ego is not the enemy that it has been made out to be?

First let’s talk about what spiritual awakening is.

From my perspective and in my experience, a spiritual awakening is an activation of our consciousness – that’s why it’s called waking up. It is the process of waking up to the truth of who we really are. First and foremost, we are spiritual beings. We have a Soul that desires to or feels called to have certain experiences in this lifetime and a mind – which gives us our egoic identity and the drive to go after our desires or fulfill Soul’s calling. Our Spirit, Soul and Mind are given this body, this physical form as a vehicle to live out those experiences and express the ego.

Your ego is NOT the enemy. Your ego is your ally.

As long as we live in this 3D reality, the ego will be present. It is an integral part of our human experience. Trying to kill, dissolve or detach from it is futile – and ironically, these efforts are actually functions of the ego. When you are operating from the unconscious mind, anything you do will be an unconscious expression of the ego. When you operate from the conscious mind, your behaviors, patterns and habits will be a conscious expression of the ego. Consider this, what good would a Soul with desires and a deep calling be if we had no will to act on these things – if there were no ego to drive us?

Spiritual awakening is not an ego death. It is an awakening of our consciousness that calls us into a higher expression of the ego. When this happens, the subconscious programs that we were running get called out. The curtain gets pulled back on the wizard and everything we once believed to be true about ourselves, the belief systems that we bought into and the way we saw the world no longer resonates – suddenly none of it makes sense and no matter how hard we try to stuff ourselves back into the box of our pre-awakened existence, it just doesn’t fit.

The ego is our will. So it will fight to be expressed. Unconsciously, it will fight to keep you safe inside of a box. It will fight to keep up the illusion of control, to keep you attached to unhealthy situations so that it feels validated. It will fight to suppress the real you so that it feels accepted and to deny your pain so that your heart stays closed and “protected.”

But consciously, your ego will fight for you to be free. It will drive you to take action – not from a need to control; but from a place of trust, passion and empowerment. It will allow you to openly give and receive love and show up in life authentically. It will self validate and attract complimentary energy. And it will inspire others to do the same. The conscious ego is a revolutionary, a leader. Something to celebrate, not crucify.

The conscious ego is buried underneath the layers of our programming. When we awaken spiritually, those layers begin to be stripped away. We are being pushed to let go of who we thought we were. An unconsciously expressed ego will vehemently resist and fight this transformation. This is what we refer to as the “dark night of the Soul” and it’s why the awakening process can be so painful. It’s natural to wonder what do I have to do to get through this as quickly as possible? How can I speed this up? The simple answer is to surrender to it. Your programming wasn’t created overnight, so the process of awakening to and breaking it down also won’t happen overnight. So, allow yourself to feel it all. Allow the towers to crumble so that everything can fall into place as it should. Unbusy yourself so that you can deeply connect to the voice inside of you that seeks to guide you through this part of your journey.

It’s tempting to want to rush through this, so you can get back to the joy. I know because I did it and I still do it. But remember, nothing exists without its opposite. True and authentic joy comes once we have been courageous enough to sit with our pain, accept it and reconfigure the programs that have been feeding it. The desire and the willingness to do this is quite possibly the most divine expression of the ego.